Book 4, Chapter 3:
So where is book 1, 2, 3? And all those other chapters? They are in the past. Possibly to be resurrected. Definitely to be remembered.
But this entry is about today. And what is in front of me, namely 26 miles of trail from Route 4 in Rangeley, ME to the South Arm Road in Andover, ME. The first hike, going North and ending at the Route 17 overlook will be a moderately difficult hike over the Bemis Range. The second hike is an easy, walk in the woods North from 17 to Route 4. 13 miles each to be done over two days. When you section hike, you can chose your direction and I always choose the path of least resistance (but that is only on the trail, not a big believer of that in life – more on that later).
I passively tried to enlist some company for this weekend, but as the hike got closer, I decided to go it alone. I needed to leave some things on the trail. A weekend of quiet and solitude to work myself into a better place. In addition to needing a hike where I spoil myself a bit, so no sleeping on the trail. Therefore, my first slack pack hikes – defined as having someone drop you at the trail and day hiking back-to-back days with just minimal food and water in your pack, then sleeping off trail, in my case at the lovely Farmhouse lodge (see pictures below). Thus, the Meditation Retreat.
Some spiritual intervention was needed. This coming week is the 10th uninitiated time I will go to court with my ex, this round focusing on college support. After seventeen years, it is a chapter of my life I would like closed. The first day of the hike, I let out so much anxiety that it kept me up most of the night. Then, the second day of the hike, I breathed through it, meditated on leaving that anxiety on the trail. I realized that relationship was started with good intentions, but ended with me wanting him to be a different person. Which sucks for him. No one should be looked at everyday that way. But that hope has continued into the afterlife of the marriage. Acceptance is where I need to be-he is who he is. And he is not someone I want in my life anymore.
Now the badass. My ride to the trail. She is my 25 year old daughter from another mother. At 23, she and her boyfriend, at the time, decided to hike the trail from Connecticut north, starting in February. 60 pounds of tent with a mini stove attached and supplies (mostly food) on her back, they made it to Rangeley, ME in April. That hike took guts. Just getting up in the morning and strapping all of that gear on your back through some of the toughest terrain on the trail took courage. She did it because she wanted to see if she could make it living off the land in the backwoods of Alaska and thought this was a good trial run. Instead, she found a new home in Rangeley, moved forward from the boyfriend and is learning how to build her own home. She is an example of how you start on the trail seeking one thing and leave with something different.
I started the weekend looking to work through something and instead I left it on a riverbank near some stones and a dead skunk killed by a great horned owl. Much better.
